Parental Alienation Syndrome

When Children Get Caught in the Middle

By Kelly Burgess

Most people have probably witnessed parental alienation. This is where one parent denigrates another in front of the children. In its most severe form it can lead to Parental Alienation Syndrome, or PAS, where the child completely rejects contact with one parent.

PAS was first described in 1985 by the late Richard Gardner. J. Michael Bone, who worked extensively with Gardner, notes that PAS occurs almost exclusively in the context of divorce. "Most of the research done on this suggests various motivations, but in general it involves anger and a desire for revenge because of abandonment," Bone says. "However, sometimes it's also engaged in by the person who initiates the divorce because of emotional instability or a desire for control."

In addition, although in the past it was thought that the mother was primarily the alienating parent, Bone notes that it's now thought to occur equally between the mother and father. Parental alienation can manifest itself through constant negative and untrue comments by one parent against the other, through false allegations of abuse and, in its most extreme form, literally through abducting and convincing the child that his mother or father no longer loves him or is no longer living.

"It's easy to think that one parent could never have the power to turn a child against a parent they've always loved and been close to, but one of the things we've discovered is that it's not that hard to do," Bone says. "Divorce is very tough on kids and it represents a loss for the child. It's not that great of a leap for the child to start worrying that if he doesn't 'side' with the one parent against the other he may lose both parents."

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