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A review
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As parents, our instinct is to protect our children from anything that may
hurt them both physically and emotionally. We carry our infants in our
arms, feed them when they are hungry and soothe them when they cry. But as
our children grow older and begin to take their first steps away from us
and out into the world, it becomes more difficult to shield them from its
cruelties. The first time our children encounter meanness, we are often at
a loss to help them.
The book comprises short sections, so parents don't have to set aside a
large chunk of time all at once. Each section presents an explanation of a
specific mean behavior followed by ideas for handling that behavior.
Designed to be read by parents (or educators) and children together,
Cohen-Posey's book features simple language and inviting illustrations to
help children discern the person hidden inside the bully.
Cohen-Posey suggests some basic tactics for dealing with routine
name-calling, including turning insults into compliments, asking questions,
and agreeing with the bully. For example, if a bully says, "Your mother is
such a pig. She ate all our cookies," Cohen-Posey recommends a reply such
as, "Really? I guess we don't feed her enough at home." Answers like this,
Cohen-Posey says, take a bully by surprise. By agreeing with what the bully
says, you deny him the chance to provoke you into an argument.
The book also has a section on advanced techniques including "playing the
game," "blocks" and "pushers." To play the game, Cohen-Posey suggests
going along with whatever the bully says: a remark such as, "You're so
stupid!" can be followed up with, "What does 'stupid' mean?" Blocks and
pushers use language to trick the bully into doing something different:
"Just try to keep bothering me," or "I dare you to be nice to
me."
The final sections of the book provide children with exercises to practice
the techniques they have learned and a plan for putting their new skills
into action.
Cohen-Posey also includes a special section for parents with suggestions
for helping children discover their own power to overcome meanness
whether the child is the aggressor or the victim. In this section,
Cohen-Posey gives specific attention to the problem of name calling (and
similar bad behaviors) between siblings, and gives parents strategies to
combat it and create a peaceful home environment.
If you have children, sooner or later, you're going to witness nastiness
firsthand. How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies is perfectly
subtitled this is "A Book that Takes the Nuisance out of Name Calling
and Other Nonsense."
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